SPICY THAI

From “Kettle Chips”

Munching on these chips, I suddenly had this deeply heart-felt sympathy for people who have ever been set up on disastrous blind dates based on their mutual friends’ sudden, wide-eyed enlightenment (“OMG! You have to meet my friend XXX! You guys would so totally dig each other!).

That must have been what the “potato chips designer” thought of when this spicy Thai flavor was created (“OMG, Potato! You have to meet my friend Ginger! You guys are like, so totally made for each other!). But unfortunately, no matter how great this idea sounds, ginger and potato just don’t go together. As a matter of fact, they hated each other and fought throughout the entire duration of their date.

Sorry to break your heart, potato chips designer (p.s. wildly jealous of your profession…). Next time, try lemon grass with potatoes, and as an added bonus, you can still call it spicy Thai flavor. This one you created, is an absolute catastrophe.

MUNCHOS

GG (very excited): Guess what I discovered today?

J: What?

GG (mysterious grin): A type of n-e-w potato chips! They taste very light, not conventional at all. I kind of like it.

J: Oh?

(sound of plastic bag rattling)

GG: Look!

(J's eyes widened in disbelief at the sight of the bag)

J: It's - Munchos!

(GG's eyes widened in shock)

GG: You know this?!

J: I ...

(J was so flabbergasted and excited at the same time - (inner thougts: "Finally! Now is the time for me to get even with her for all the caveman portrait I endured since the existence of her blog!") - that he completed lost his words)

J: Never mind. I keep forgetting that you didn't grow up in this country!

SHRIMP FLAVORED CRACKER

FROM "NONG SHIM"

Light with affable shrimp flavor, I am hopelessly addicted to these little crunchy babies. I know, they are not potato chips, but these crackers are majorly nostalgic for me! Growing up in Taiwan, I dutifully consumed various brands of these "shrimp falvored crackers" as my after school / pre dinner preferred choice of snack; to my mom's disapproval. True, they have negative zero nutritional values, but hey, look who you are talking to! THEY TASTE GOOD!

ALL NATURAL MESQUITE BBQ POTATO CHIPS

From “DIRTY” POTATO CHIPS

FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE WORD BBQ!

With just the right amount of sweetness and smoke, these crunchy little chips make perfect companions to any hearty sandwich. They are so addictive that I could just imagine the folks over at Weight Watcher holding torches, donning robes and forming a circle to crumble all the bags with vengeance.

CHEDDAR BEER POTATO CHIPS

From KETTLE CHIPS

Another disappointment even greater than the barbecue flavor.

THEY TASTE LIKE THE BELCH THAT EXPLODES OUT OF YOU AFTER A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH AND A PINT OF CHEAP BEER!

Sorry, their bad. Maybe you have to be a horny frat boy to like them. I‘m just not getting it.

ORGANIC CHIPOTLE CHILI BARBECUE POTATO CHIPS

from KETTLE CHIPS

Utterly disappointing. Not enough barbecue flavor and too much "je ne sai quoi" crap. The only consolation is the pleasant crunch that pops in your mouth.